Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It
by M. Gary Neuman
This New York Times Bestseller takes an in-depth look at the real reasons for male marital infidelity and what might prevent it.
Few events cause as much turmoil in a marriage as infidelity. It can shatter trust and breed insecurity and resentment from which some relationships never recover. People who think it won't happen to them are hit that much harder when it does. Why are men unfaithful? Can infidelity be prevented? What do men say they're getting from their mistresses that they're missing at home? Do a man's friends have anything to do with his willingness to cheat?
In this New York Times bestselling book, experienced family counselor M. Gary Neuman shares the revealing and surprising findings of a cutting-edge research study in which he interviewed men across the country who have physically cheated on their wives. Neuman shares many shocking discoveries, including the prominent role of emotional dissatisfaction in motivating husbands who stray and how small a role sexual dissatisfaction plays.
- Based on a groundbreaking study of both cheating men and men who have remained faithful
- Reveals surprising findings on the contribution of sexual and emotional dissatisfaction to male infidelity
- Written by experienced family counselor M. Gary Neuman, coauthor of In Good Times and Bad and author of Emotional Infidelity
- Neuman and The Truth about Cheating were featured twice on The Oprah Winfrey Show
- Drawing on dramatic case stories of the author's own work with clients, The Truth about Cheating includes proactive strategies and action steps for married women to help them prevent infidelity and create a faithful and rewarding marriage.
Neuman (Emotional Infidelity) attempts to arm wives with the tools to prevent their husbands from cheating by drawing upon questionnaires and interviews with 100 men who reported sexual affairs. According to the author's research, sexual dissatisfaction within their marriages rated fourth and emotional dissatisfaction first as reasons given for straying. Neuman notes that only "12% of cheating men said that the mistress was more physically attractive than their wives," thereby reinforcing findings that men were missing an emotional connection in their marriages (whether this is intended to serve as comfort to their wives is unclear).
Neuman introduces "The Inner Voice Recognition Formula" and "Quick Action Program," challenging women to revise assumptions about marriage, make immediate behavioral changes and forge new bonds with their husbands, thereby deterring future dalliances. While some wives might find this book helpful, it is perhaps more likely that readers will wish that the author had devoted more time to holding the cheating husband responsible for his actions rather than putting the onus on wives to take preventive-and dubiously effective-measures.